top of page

The Sexual Tension Between My Thoughts and I

Daniela De Vera reveals a glimpse into the frustrated psyche: wanting everything from life and the people in it but remaining in unsatisfied desire


What does this sexual tension feel like exactly?


The desire between two individuals who do not act upon their attraction. Like drinking cold water on a hot summer’s day, gulping the liquid down though it somehow doesn’t feel like enough. When you go for one last dip in the ocean and leave its warm embrace, feeling the need to dip yourself in again. It’s a craving that persists throughout the day, leaving you to ache and salivate in thought of it.


Regardless of how one might experience this interaction, I could almost compare this social phenomenon with life as of now. 


You’re in your 20s and you’re what? Studying and working? You’re in that stage where maybe the friends you had in high school no longer send you posts that remind them of you. You’re at that point where you only have a few close friends and you see everyone else amongst big groups, and question whether you should have more friends. You probably haven’t done your prescribed readings for this week nor have you watched the lecture for your class tomorrow that starts at 9am. Maybe, you have an essay due at the end of the week and you’re not entirely sure of what you actually have to write. Perhaps you’re going out this weekend and you will have fun, but you go home and crash without taking your makeup off or changing clothes, and you wake up the next morning disheveled with your head pounding.


What I’m trying to say is that you probably, most definitely, do not have a sensible grasp on your life right now — and that’s fine. You’re handling life with sweaty hands and an increased heart rate. You want to experience everything but you experience nothing. You might think you’re profound and knowledgeable about the trials and tribulations that humans experience, but I’m going to take a guess that you only know so much. You make attempts to consume life itself to feel a sense of ease in knowing what it tastes like, to ease the tension of the unknown, just like how you want to consume that person to ease your cravings; but you don’t.


This hunger and desire, it is so tangible you could cut the tension with a knife.


Comments


bottom of page