Section Editor and animal enthusiast Kayleigh Greig invites you into the realm of crazy female critters, from mole-rat monarchs to baby-swapping birds.
Humanity has plenty of female villains, but let’s not forget that there is some serious badassery going on in the rest of the animal kingdom (or ‘queendom’ to put it in the cringiest way possible - you’re welcome). Buckle in for some twisted chicks and their hardcore survival tactics.
Some Casual Cannibalism:
Jumping Spider
This chick is picky, and for good reason – she can only mate once in her life, so it has to be with the right guy. Of course, what better way to show off your compatibility than with an elegant dance? The males will wave their arms about, jump from place to place, beat their legs on the ground to create a song of vibrations and basically bear their souls through the creative art of movement. If their audience is impressed, they get to be a father. If not, they’re destined to be dinner…
Praying Mantis
We can’t miss this homicidal bug we all know and love, the classic praying mantis. It takes a lot of resources to create new life, and this genius gal has found the perfect solution: eating her partner! There’s nothing quite as thrilling as decapitating a smaller, weaker male, mating with its body (yes, the nerves in the abdomen still control the body after beheading) then making a snack of it, apparently.
A Touch of Tyranny:
Clown Fish
Onto the vertebrates, we fittingly have a creature who shows some backbone. As the head of the group, the biggest and baddest female bends to no one. Only the best-serving male has the honour of mating with her, so they get to work foraging for her food, cleaning her home and catering to her every need. Plus, when the eggs are laid, it’s the father’s job to guard them. She’s got high standards and so should you. Oh, and here’s a little bonus: if the reigning female dies, one of the largest males in the group will turn female to replace her (a process called protandrous sequential hermaphroditism), while everyone else gets bumped up a rank in the social order.
Naked Mole Rat
She’s not pretty but she’s your only option. Much like bees and ants, naked mole rats model a hierarchy in which the queen reigns sovereign over her underground empire of tunnels stretching up to five kilometres long. She’s the only female that can reproduce, with a cadre of two or three mating males by her side, while the rest serve as workers. This high level of social structuring is known as eusociality. These furless rodents are also remarkable for the lack of pain sensitivity in their skin (you can literally pour acid on them and they will not feel it), resistance to cancer, and long lifespans (with queens living up to eighteen years). Ugly she may be, but she is undeniably cool. 10/10.
Murder and sabotage:
Spider Wasp
OK, I hope you’re not sick of invertebrates yet because this one was too cool not to include. The spider wasp will paralyse a spider, drag it to her burrow, lay her egg on the abdomen, and close the entrance in waiting. Some even place dead ants in the chamber so the chemicals will deter predators. Once the egg hatches, the larva feeds on the spider, saving the vital organs for last. I’m lucky enough to have seen one of these formidable females in action and it was just as gruesome and impressive as you’d imagine – she jealously guarded her prized huntsman, dragging away its prone body in between aggressive dive-bombs to scare us off.
Channel-billed Cuckoo
This mother is not going to win any awards. Working with her partner in crime, she’ll sneak into other birds’ nests while her mate distracts them, giving her enough time to lay her own egg and abandon ship. Usually, she’ll target larger birds such as magpies, ravens or currawongs, but occasionally smaller magpie larks and butcher birds or even bigger birds of prey. The poor surrogate mother must then raise the ginormous cuckoo chick as her own. Hogging the food supply, the cuckoo often outcompetes the surrogate’s chicks to the point of starvation and death. As the largest cuckoo, a channel-bill is the biggest brood parasite on earth, and it has a grating call to match its maniacal personality.
A pinch of promiscuity:
Topi Antelope
These ladies are KEEN. Instead of being courted by the males, they passionately take up the task, battling amongst themselves for the right to mate with their desired partners and even breaking apart those who are in the act so they can get a turn. Often, males will collapse from exhaustion at the end of mating, with females ready to go at it multiple times with each man, with an average of four partners a day. Dudes will even have to fight off particularly aggressive females so that others can have a chance. On an unrelated but interesting note, if they sense imminent danger, pregnant females are also able to stall labour.
Garter Snake
The breeding ball is a mating behaviour seen in several different snakes, amphibians, bees and wasps, but none are quite as populous as those of garter snakes. For this species, a horde of ten all the way up to one hundred males may congregate around a single female. As ectotherms, reptiles generally rely on heat from the sun to keep metabolic and body processes going, but the insulation of hundreds of bodies in the breeding ball allows mating to continue.
I could go on and on, but if you’re keen to find out more, I’d recommend researching octopi, lions, bonobos, orcas, green anacondas, scorpions, and spotted hyenas for even more fascinating females. Happy (or potentially traumatising) reading!
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