The Five Kinds of Footwear you see on Campus


Illustrations || Daniel Lim


A city-dwelling nature lover walking a strange wobbly line between carefree whimsy and straight up nihilism. The phrase ‘bin chicken’ triggers a prepared speech about how ibises are misunderstood creatures. Also, dude, please put some shoes on.


Socks and Slides

A walking disaster. Both their life and their shoes are held together with some superglue they found at the bottom of a drawer and they pulled their outfit out of the washing basket this morning with barely a cautionary whiff. No matter how long they’ve been at uni, they have a distinct final-year attitude towards lectures and assignments.




May or may not have been present at the birth of Christ. Begins every conversation with “oh my fucking god, guess what.” Probably doing a law degree and definitely owns three different brands of fake tan.


Bright Nikes

Somehow always able to cram 30 hours of activities into a 24-hour day. Might be an Instagram celebrity, or at least often mistaken for one. Thinks they’re above it but will totally flick through a Woman’s Day in the line at Woolies.



Doc Martens

Very good at pretending they have their life together. They also somehow sort-of know every single person you’ve ever met. Went through an Evanescence phase in high school and already knows all the words to Melodrama. Also, this person is definitely gay. I don’t make the rules here.