The Five Kinds of Footwear you see on Campus

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Illustrations || Daniel Lim

Barefoot

A city-dwelling nature lover walking a strange wobbly line between carefree whimsy and straight up nihilism. The phrase ‘bin chicken’ triggers a prepared speech about how ibises are misunderstood creatures. Also, dude, please put some shoes on.

 

Socks and Slides

A walking disaster. Both their life and their shoes are held together with some superglue they found at the bottom of a drawer and they pulled their outfit out of the washing basket this morning with barely a cautionary whiff. No matter how long they’ve been at uni, they have a distinct final-year attitude towards lectures and assignments.

 

 

Birkenstocks

May or may not have been present at the birth of Christ. Begins every conversation with “oh my fucking god, guess what.” Probably doing a law degree and definitely owns three different brands of fake tan.

 

Bright Nikes

Somehow always able to cram 30 hours of activities into a 24-hour day. Might be an Instagram celebrity, or at least often mistaken for one. Thinks they’re above it but will totally flick through a Woman’s Day in the line at Woolies.

 

 

Doc Martens

Very good at pretending they have their life together. They also somehow sort-of know every single person you’ve ever met. Went through an Evanescence phase in high school and already knows all the words to Melodrama. Also, this person is definitely gay. I don’t make the rules here.

 

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