Macquarie University’s Strange Sculpture Collection


Words || Anonymous

I don’t like, nor am I interested in, sculpture criticism. Nonetheless, I will grade and critique Macquarie University’s large sculpture collection.

Mangroves by Anna Cohn

Grade: C-
Location: W6B Stairwell
It kind of looks like Dr Seuss was tasked to draw ‘mangroves’ without ever having seen any in his life. To be honest, i thought this was maybe just a bunch of ill-designed bike racks till I looked it up. I gave it a C minus because it’s too hard to get your pushbike above your head.




Graduate (Female) and Graduate (Male) by Linda Klarfeld









Grade: 49
Location: Top of the pathway towards E11A
I hate these two assholes. All bronze and smug with their fancy degrees and those badass capes. Apparently the female statue was added three years after the male one. I give them a 49 so they have to repeat a unit and they can’t graduate until next semester. Ha!

Parasite by Clive Murray-White

Grade: B+Location: Outside C8A near the stairs
This has gotta be a joke, right? According to a very faded plaque, this lump of steel was actually purchased by the University and not accidentally left behind by a group of railway workers. I’m honestly impressed. I’m giving Mr Murray-White a B+ for the excellent coordination of this 

niche, slow-burn joke.

Together Through Time by Larissa Smagarinsky
Grade: D
Location: Grass area on your way from the carparks.
He he, boobs but also creepy and heteronormative.




Joy by Louie Fraser
Grade: A++
Location: Courtyard of W6B
This chick is my second favourite thing about the university campus behind student group sausage sizzles. Apparently she’s supposed to be a sex worker? I love it even more. This badass gal is just chilling in a doorway with her killer hairdo and a single sexy strap falling off her shoulder.



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