The Breakfast Club: Illustrations

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Pictures || Brittney Klein

The Brain
A very nutritious breakfast. All of the food groups are represented … did your mum marry Mr Rogers?

  • Toasted multigrain bread (sans crust)
  • Crunchy peanut butter
  • Raspberry or strawberry jam
  • Dried apple chips

Layer the ingredients in order of listing and pack yourself some soup in a thermos for later.

The Athlete
Paired with an entire bag of choc-chip cookies, and at least two serves of fruit, this over-the-top breaky will give you all the energy you need to avoid disappointing your father again.

  • 3 slices of toasted white bread
  • Lettuce
  • Mayonnaise
  • Chicken
  • Grated cheddar cheese
  • Crushed chips

Create three layers, place on a tray in a preheated oven for ten minutes, or until cheese is fully melted.

The Basketcase
When you grow up, your heart dies, so stave off the death of childhood with this ridiculously naïve – and likely inedible – concoction.

  • 2 slices of white bread
  • Butter
  • Mystery meat
  • Wizz Fizz sherbet
  • Crushed Cheerios

Create sandwich from bread, butter, and mystery meat. Leave to sit for approx. 3 hours. Open the sandwich, remove meat, and sprinkle the buttered bread with two sachets of original flavour Wizz Fizz. Then sprinkle the Cheerios. Use the heel of your palm to crush the cereal into the bread. Wash it down with some coke.

The Princess
It’s raw fish and seaweed, for when you don’t want a guy’s tongue in your mouth but you wouldn’t mind something similar.

  • Toasted sourdough
  • Cream cheese
  • Cucumber ribbons
  • Salmon
  • Shredded seaweed

Spread the toast with ample cream cheese, then layer the ingredients in listing order.


The Criminal
The perfect start to a day of taking out your unhealthy family dynamics on a pack of unsuspecting classmates.

  • Pack of cigarettes
  • Piece of mouldy bread

Smoke up, Johnny.