Grapeshot Movie Review: Blair Witch

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Words || Nikita Jones

I walked into Blair Witch with a belly full of wine, some unwilling friends, and low expectations. Turns out all three things were necessary for surviving this movie. The sequel is essentially just a far less iconic reboot of the 1999 original, The Blair Witch Project. Heather’s little brother, James, is all grown up, and he sets out with his conveniently tech-savvy friends to the Blair Woods on a quest to die in exactly the same way his sister did. That’s not his actual motive, but his real motive – finding his obviously long-gone sister – is even stupider.

In addition to a garden-variety Love Interest, Heather’s little bro is accompanied by his stock-standard Best-Friend and a conventionally pretty Best-Friend’s Girlfriend, and two Redneck Locals as guides. We get about twenty minutes of dull road-trip antics, almost deliberately awful exposition, and very obvious foreshadowing before the movie launches full-tilt into jump scares and violent zooming.

The one redeeming aspect this film is its conscious attempt to play on specific fears. There’s something in here to make everyone squirm, whether you’re afraid of heights, confined spaces, body-horror, or naked long-limbed humanoids in hallways. Regardless of this, and despite the Bluetooth headsets, drones and webcams, Blair Witch pales in comparison to its loveably low-tech predecessor.

1/5